Maddie Swan
Rom coms are universally loved films that give us a sense of comfort even if they’re a guilty pleasure. However, despite a general love for films like 10 Things I Hate About You, The Notebook, Mamma Mia, While You Were Sleeping and millions of others; majority of them have problematic plot points. As much as we love these films it’s hard to love the toxic behaviour consistently seen on screen. So what’s really the problem in these movies and how does it affect us?
One of the main tropes consistently shown in rom coms is when a bet or deal is made in order for the boy to date the ‘unconventional’ girl. Famous movies like She’s All That and 10 Things I Hate About You use this plot point as a way to create the film’s climax. Inevitably this ends up with the girl finding out that their relationship was a lie and the two protagonists get into a huge fight only to be resolved with a grand gesture and a kiss to seal the deal. A key theme within that trope is the forced change of the ‘unconventional’ character where they’re essentially stripped of their personality and identity just to become stereotypically beautiful, usually to adhere to the male gaze. This is seen in thousands of movies; the main one being the classic movie The Breakfast Club where the character Allison is given new clothes and a transformative makeover which leads to Andrew suddenly being interested in her. Using these tropes causes the viewer to lower their standards of what love should be because these rom coms show that changing who you are and settling for someone who doesn’t value you is acceptable in a healthy relationship.
Another problem with rom coms as a whole is general toxic behaviour from characters. A prime example of this is from He’s Just Not That Into You where the entire movie is spent with the male protagonist (Alex) advising the female protagonist (Gigi) about the rules of dating men. Throughout the film Gigi and women in general are portrayed as desperate when they supposedly misread signs from men they’re interested in. When Gigi mistakes Alex to be interested in her, he becomes immediately defensive and tells her she’s made up non existent signs that he liked her. After her rejection she doesn’t respond to any of his calls and he shows up at her front door to admit ‘you’re my exception’ and of course, they end up together. All this shows the viewer is that even though someone might gaslight you into thinking you’re making things up, as long as they knock on your door in the middle of the night as a romantic gesture, all is forgiven.
As much as we love these movies it’s important to understand the damaging tropes that are used. We should remember that all of those grand gestures and romantic monologues are mostly used to cover up toxic behaviour. Maybe it’s time we get to see a healthy relationship on our screens without the problematic build up.
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